shit's on fire.

Traffic was a fcuking bitch today…..fifteen extra minutes of waiting, being bombarded by that incessant beep emanating from the dash, instructing me that the A4 has a broken tail light that can't be fixed by the layman and a trip to Pep-Boys.

And my blood was literally boiling out of my body, evaporating through the skin and heating the confines of the comfortably expensive car……and for what, two stalled cars? Two piece of shit Chevy Bonneville rust-buckets and an IDOT Ambulance flashing yellow lights. You'd think ET had landed, that the aliens were coming to get us and their port of entry was the Cumberland on-ramp for one of the busiest thoroughfares in the city of Chicago. Chicago, people, not Timbuktu Arkansas…..cars stall, people need jumper cables, this type of shit happens everyday….it's the highway, it's rush hour, and you rubbernecks think Pamela Anderson is passing out blow-jobs in the 35 degree weather…Hesus H. Christa!

But I diverge…it's been a good day. A poor girl up in Canada passed on tragically from a peanut allergy earlier this week….and why? Because she kissed her boyfriend in an innocent act of teenage lust, love….god bless her soul...And I'm still alive, able to complain about how much my life sucks while staring out a wall of 13 foot windows at an un-obstructed, million dollar view of the skyline from John Hancock to Sears Roebuck. Woe is me seems to fade easily while calming the dogs in a whirlpool bath-tub situated in 300SF of marble clad sanctuary bliss. My twin decks are killing me softly with subtle bass drops, sexy diva vocals, and jazzy hip-funk deliciousness. Eight thousand quarter finish projects align the shelves and crates scattered amongst the pine wood floor. Ritalin, Wellbutrin, Adderal, Concerta, Focalin…none of modern medicine's legal great speed-balls of decaffeinated fire can calm and redirect my mind…..hence the dot dot dots…and the spaces and abrupt jumps, playing hopscotch through myriad topics which race neck and neck through an overwhelmed consciousness. Troops are dying in IRAQ, yet another travesty of modern times in the year of our lord 2005. President Bush gave a lecture today to the American people: Plan for Victory as opposed to his speech on May 1st, 2003: Mission Accomplished. My brethren are being torn apart by IED's. Limbs hacked off by delusional jihadists, dogs long deprived of the food of hope and good will. Mothers are crying as their sons and daughters are passing on in the name of patriotism and false ideals? I can't understand why, but I have no voice or choice in the matter. All I can do is thank God I didn't join the army and pray for the troops. Luckily only two more years separate American from wizard being booted from office in this multi-billion dollar production of the Wizard of Oz. Except this time the witch doesn't die…this time Dorothy is really fucked…we've crossed over the rainbow and shit's on fire, burning in the hell-fire fundamentalist Christians long spouted as the fate of secularists. We're being left behind while the evangelicals are preparing for Armageddon.

I can hardly make sense of these times…I thought I knew the world when I was younger, had it all figured out. People didn't die, disease didn't destroy lives, families didn't go hungry for days, warm water was always a knobs twist away. But then came media with it's vampires fangs, burying it's teeth deep into my jugular and hypnotizing me with breasts and sex, quick fixes, convenience, wealth, Happiness. And I bought in hard and my mistress revealed herself as the corporate whore she always was…she dropped seven veils in the dance of jezebel, scorching my heart with the sad truth that all is fleeting except self…that the only constants are time and change and the only absolute truth is death.

But why? But why wallow in those shadows, so sure of the reality in which we reside? Why believe the terrorists are out to get us? Why buy into every "As Seen on TV" "Lose 10lbs in 10 Minutes" "Britney Spears cheated on Kevin" throw away, cotton candy rot your soul this is why they hate US magazine? Break the addiction…..break from the ties that bind you…..think outside the box and gain control of your life….Tony Robbins can do it, why can't you?

Because life is hard. Because life isn't one giant grotto full of naked lesbians at Hef's Mansion. The party can't always rage on. People starve. Militants murder. Nations struggle. Fat men eat. And time and history repeats itself. And tomorrow morning, a snow storm’s coming and traffic will halt, as people pause in awe and wonder as they see snowflakes for the first time, and Pamela Anderson will once again be standing naked on the side of the road…..or at least three stories up on a Clear Channel billboard.

Whoisthisjobekid?