...of the "wonderful" things she does

Of course I don’t want life to be this way, h! I don’t want to sit at my desk day in and day out and ponder the would haves, the whys and the why nots. It’s maddening to think of how fcuked up our relationship was. What could have been the picture perfect summer (and in many ways, was) turned into a wave of conflicting emotions and devotions towards medicine which ignited rage and jealousy and intense anxiety. You were an angel and a devil, you were my salvation and my down fall, your words brought me to my knees and your lies tore through my heart like a lion’s claws, shredding any hope at reconciliation or finding a path towards serenity and love. You were, I was, we won’t ever, because, because, because.