Friday, September 22, 2006


I preface these two quotes by saying that upon spiritually ingesting them, I felt a heat burst within. It was earlier this morning actually. Rain poured from the firmament and drenched the Eisenhower expressway. Traffic crawled bumper to bumper. My fellow travellers smoked, smiled, rubbernecked an accident, chatted on cellphones, painted their faces, and inched along with me. In the reflection of gleaming red brake lights off the slick pavement, I saw stillness and purpose. I understood for a brief second, the meaning of light and dark, right and wrong, deceit and trust. I saw what William Blake describes as a heaven in a wildflower. And it is my sincere hope that you too, are on a path towards discovering your truth and finding eternity in an hour.


"When the Buddha was dying, he brought his monks together. Everyone went into contemplation, waiting for him to speak, to give his final message. Instead of speaking, he held up a flower. One monk, Kasyapa, smiled and attained enlightenment. To Kasyapa he gave the charge of the teachings."

Andrew Harvey

If you can't be a pine on the top of a hill
Be a scrub in the valley,but be
The best little scrub on the side of the hill,
Be a bush if you can't be a tree.
If you can't be a highway just be a trail
If you can't be the sun be a star;
It isn't by size that you win or fail.
Be the best of whatever you are.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

The above picture was borrowed from: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/mlk/ ....an amazing dedication to man of men whose timeless message will live forever. and the accompanying caption. The Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. is welcomed with a kiss by his wife Coretta after leaving court in Montgomery, Ala., March 22, 1956. King was found guilty of conspiracy to boycott city buses in a campaign to desegregate the bus system, but a judge suspended his $500 fine pending appeal.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Bathe in the light of a thousand candles.©

Holy Hesus Batman, the United States Senate is recognizing AD/HD Awarness day, today, September the 20th 2006. US Senator's Maria Cantwell and Richard Durbin (of my home state), issued Senate Resoultion 544 which designates September 20, 2006 as "National Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Awareness Day." Amen to such an affirmation that I am not alone in the struggle to conform my charismatic personality to the proverbial box in which so many seem to place their thoughts. There's now not only a term, but a day to define my scattered mind. The dialogue is now reinforced with a National Day strengthening the campaign to find methods by which to acknowledge, accept, and treat it.

I represent one of a supposed 8 million Adults struggling with a disorder that is powerfully pervasive in its ability to debilitate, frustrate, and lead its victim into temptation after temptation. All too often ignorance infects people's minds and leads them to believe half truths. With ADHD, millions of otherwise intelligent adults are convinced of myths such as, "you're not ADD, you're just lazy," or, "ADD is just in your head, everyone has ADD," or the worst, "ADD just doesn't exist, get over yourself." Attention Deficit Hyperactive disorder is not limited to children in grades 6 through 12. It's not a disorder that can be cured through stimulant medication. In fact, contrary to popular belief, it's doesn't disappear once the child reaches some form of adulthood. According to an article on the myths of ADD by Michigan Adolescent and Adult ADD Network for Professionals, "individuals with ADHD may develop a variety of secondary problems as they move through life, including depression, anxiety, substance abuse, academic failure, vocational problems, marital discord, and emotional distress." If treated and properly managed, the piece continues, "most individuals with ADHD live productive lives and cope reasonably well with their symptoms."

I'm willing to conjecture that many people reading this article can think of at least one person we'll call Jane for the sake of argument, who seems to never have grown up. And if you happen to know a Jane, I bet you can think of at least three, if not five or ten things/schemes/and dreams Jane talked about pursuing with such fervor and passion she nearly knocked you from your seat. Sadly, Jane or whomever you happen to be thinking of was never able to follow that path. Instead of finding joy in her "lofty dreams", she was busy riding a perpetual rollercoaster of moods. She was happy and driven to succeed one minute, and drunk with booze or frustration another. I've known a few people who were so fed up with the world seemingly screwing them over that they've taken drugs or drank to the point of their death. Years of misunderstanding and misdirected passions brought about the ultimate sacrifice, their life in the name of a propagated lie. To many, these people seem a fool for not having listened to the sage advice preached by the ones who loved them.

I'm here to say that I too have been driven to the side of a bridge in my time. I became convinced of pedestrian opinions that I truly was the crazy one for being unable to conform and silence the passionate symphony of creation, love, inspiration, and daydreams that roared through my consciousness from the daybreak through insomnia to daybreak and back. The world was out to get me. The world was unfair for binding me to conformity. The world surely seemed to be a horrific place. Yet by the grace of God, psychotherapy and western medicine, I was saved to share this thought with you today, that ADD is real and that left untreated it becomes the source of great misery in our world.

There's plenty to be miserable about, not being able to pay attention seems hardly worthy of a passing thought when so many perish from famine, hatred manifested, disease, corruption, fear, and so on and so forth. Not a single doubt exists in any persons mind that true suffering and pain exists in this world. We can see the look on a hungry child's face, or the absence of life in a full blown AIDS patient's eyes. We can see the missing limbs of the innocent and the guilty. As blood pours from wounds or cries pour from tombs, we can see and feel and know without a doubt that this world is full of suffering far greater than that which the man in the adjacent cubicle is experiencing. But, as the great writer, dreamer and aviator Antoine de St. Exupery said, "What is essential is invisible to the eye." His statement echoes across myriad subjects upon which I could expound, but in the context of mental suffering I see his words as a shadow of truth's figure. That which is essentially causing so much suffering is the collective untreated, unacknowledged ADD of an entire world, for if we were actually focused on that which was essential in THIS WORLD, we would not be wasting precious money on National Enquirer's or rounds of shots for random strangers. We would not be trying to find solace in games of chance, drugs or booze, rather in the hearts of the ones our dollars have gone to feed, whose hands we've reached out to, and whose voices we've heard through their dark days of sorrow and misery.

I'm tired of being convinced by myself and the citizens of this world that I am the one with ADD. My doctors, friends, bosses random people I happen to meet accuse me of having ADD. Having blown off an hour of my nine to five, I write today to send a message to the world that we all have ADD. In some way, shape or form the entire world suffers from ADD. "Not me," you might state boldly. Look to your life and the lives around you. We're human, primal in our capacity, distracted by sex, gossip, television, drama or self doubt, hatred or lack of good will. Illusions of false realities bombard us from every direction and our collective attention pretends not to see. Recognizing that fact is a step towards understanding the plight of those who struggle with the disorder in its extremes.

We must wake up to the fact that it is not a manifestation of a lazy mind. In addition, we must understand that the drugs used to treat this disorder have side effects which lend themselves towards being abused, and that this is not coincidental. If these medicines did not have side effects, people would not be able to attach ignorant stigmas to their otherwise beneficial use. People might actually pop these pills as Advil after a night of heavy drinking and they might all wake up to the monumental task which faces nations across the globe. Light would no longer dance off the glitz and glamour of Hollywood's dazzling sequence dresses, but off the tears streaming from liberated Darfurian's faces. Sonic seductions from stars of theThug Life would no longer convince us that we too could live our lives with the top down, in baths of crystal, screaming money aint a thing. The wizard's grand illusion would no longer distract us from the mission at hand.

I leave you with a quote, one of my favorite quotes by a man revered by so many. Jack Kerouac is credited for starting a revolution of beatniks. By believing in and living through his words, a generation of thinkers and copycats was born. I look to his words as I look to the future of a generation whose purpose has yet to be defined; my generation of lost sheep who all too often see reality in television and advertisements. Jack's sentiments echo those which I feel as I struggle this morning to accept the fact that I've bills to pay, clients to call, meaningless rote tasks of repetition to complete in the name of a "living." I have ADD and for once in my life that's damn fine with me.

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace things, but burn like fabulous roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue center light pop and everybody goes 'AWWW!'"
Jack Kerouac


For all those interested in reading more about ADHD, I offer the following links.

2 Websites:

http://www.adultaddandmoney.com/: this blog inspired me to write this piece. It’s an add sufferers oasis for ideas, the food upon which our scattered minds thrive.

http://www.add.org/index.html : The Non-Profit Attention Deficit Disorder Association website. There are myriad links to a wealth of information all in the name of their mission statement, from which I quote: “The mission of ADDA is to provide information, resources and networking to adults with AD/HD and to the professionals who work with them. In doing so, ADDA generates hope, awareness, empowerment and connections worldwide in the field of AD/HD.”

2 Books:

http://product.half.ebay.com/Driven-to-Distraction_W0QQtgZinfoQQprZ437383: Driven to Distraction is an excellent glimpse into the mind and lives of those with ADD. It is from this book that I determined, through the aid of my “life coach” that I indeed suffer from ADD. It is also from this book that I learned strong techniques by which to manage it.

http://product.half.ebay.com/Delivered-From-Distraction_W0QQprZ30761486QQtgZinfo: Delivered from Distraction is the sequel to Driven to Distraction. It’s thesis is built upon the profoundly important idea that : “the idea that success in life comes more from playing to your strengths than overcoming your weaknesses.” I have not yet read this book as it sits at the bottom of a pile a literal mile high.

1 Exercise

Yoga. Yoga is the real deal. Get over your inhibitions and submit to the sensation.

1 more piece

I posted this piece awhile back. It references 12 steps condensed from an amazing list of tips as presented in Driven to Distraction.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

"....even so our anger controlled can be transmitted into a power that can move the world" Gandhi

(this article was inspired by this post in hopes of starting a new dialogue, i've posted it apart from the original. i'd hate to have my thoughts lost in a cacophony of hatred and conjecture.)

I'm so proud to live in a country where dopes can preach their passions and rally other dopes behind them. Americans, myself included, never cease to amaze me with our ADD and issue of the day. The war against terror is not a battle of Republicans vs. Democrats as all so often try to make it. There is not a collective enemy, even, rather a delusional ideal of hatred embraced by disillusioned mentally ill lost sheep the world abound. The source is somewhere amongst the sands of the Middle East, but its reach is global. We, as human beings, are just as threatened by a group of punks down the street as we are religious fanatics from Canada to London to Argentina and back.

Those who continue to preach the evils of the Republicans or Democrats, divide the country at a time when unity is crucial. Withdrawing the troops now would end in certain disaster. I'm not keen on the idea that kids my age and younger are sacrificing their lives in a "mirage" war formed in the name of terrorism, but one singular voice cannot change this fact. Certainly our individual voices must be heard by the masses are we to start a dialogue. In all societies the only conduit by which this comes to pass is by choosing a "side." One stokes the fires of hatred with comments such as, "Terrorists are not the threat to America, Republican fear-mongerers are!" Off with Bush's head! Take up your pitchfork and storm the castle, that'll solve our nation's problems. I hope, of course, that you did not mean this.

Terror can destroy peace in the United States. Terrorists are shouting fire in a crowded theater and the media's providing the microphone and the platform. Is the administration using fear tactics to reach into the coffers of their fellow fundamentalists dopes? Yes. Fear is non-judgemental and pervasive. It finds its victim and feeds off itself, ripping the fabric of an otherwise peaceful reality to pieces.

The Fundamentalist Republican mindset is based in the "fear" of God. The Fundamentalist Democrat mindset is based on the "infinite love" of God. Both are polar extremes of a perceived truth. There exists middle ground and in that middle ground a sense of solace can be found. We, as the richest per capita people in the entire world, can rally together, support the current disposition which we can't control while WORKING to change that which we can. Spewing fear-based conjecture such as, "W and Co. are only interested in robbing you and your country blind," or "they are robbing you of your life, liberty and pursuit of justice every single day," on a website helps no one.

The country is not on the verge of a total meltdown. Turn off your televisions, release your internet connections, head to the woods for a day and you'll see the wizard for his grand illusion; a weapon of mass confusion funded by fear and aided by division. Unite. Stay the course and fight for that in which you believe. Invest your passion into volunteering for the party you believe has the right answers. "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself," is a true statement. Fear the harm caused by the impotence of your words and inaction. Fear the fear you harbor unnecessarily and realize that the change must start with you.

Friday, September 08, 2006

“A Trinity of Insights…” – A 20 something secularist’s thoughts on God, Love, and the Meaning of Life. ©

In what do you believe?

“’Spend eternity searching space, find gas, rock, and black holes. Spend less than a lifetime searching within, find God.’ –who”

“’The old adage, ‘she took my breath away,’ is misleading. Women fill men's lungs with God's breath. Any theocracy which teaches differently preaches to a false God.’ –is”

“’God exists. Mankind is god’s children: brothers, sisters, fathers and mothers. One color unites every human being on this planet. Red. One race, children of the divine.’ –jobe?”

Inspired by a previous post

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

"God give me style and give me grace...God put a smile upon my face."

I'd like to "introduce" you all to an inspired spirit, Bryan Stupar. A self proclaimed "pretty simple guy….(who also happens to be a pastor, husband, and dad)," in San Luis Obispo, he's "just trying to find ultimate pleasure in God's greatness." Humble in his words and fierce with his camera, his art reveals a man who sees through the illusions and captures the beauty in that which is real: friendship, laughter, and ultimately people. The lens of his imagination cradles the magnificent in the simplistic and truth in the authentic world in which we all reside. This may be a fallen world, but those such as Bryan who treat each moment as a gift, each person as a neighbor, and each breath as precious as a child's first word help to make living within it quite magical. Be dazzled by his pictures or moved by his words.

Om Shanti. Om Peace.