if everybody had a notion, across the USA

I’ve always been a fan of the Beach Boys. Even at seven years of age, I'd wander the record store in hopes of securing yet another record I could toss on my antiquated, hand me down three in one (record, cassette, radio) "stereo", and "rock out" to. My first two vinyl purchases were the soundtrack to Stand by Me and the boss' Born in the USA. Late one summer evening with my step dad, I purchased my third and most cherished four vinyl set, the Best of the Beach Boys, a record that began my musical odyssey, my incessant search for new music to blast while driving 70 mph or chilling amongst friends. I wanted not to be a rockstar, but a music aficionado. Through music I could depart from the depressing backdrop of lower middle class families struggling to survive in the repetitious concrete and brick jungle of apartment megaplexes, "homes" where one was subject to the affairs and afflictions of neighbors at any hour of the day. An abusive father, an amorous couple, a Korean family with an affection for the repugnant stench of spiced cabbage, also known as Kim Chi. Music was my departure, my one way ticket into Josh's world, one part reality, two parts fantasy, three parts passion.

At 7 in the morning on Saturdays, I’d throw on a pair of shades, open the curtains and bathe the piles of unfolded clothes in sunlight. I'd pull the record two from the sleeve, gently lead the needle to the groove, jump on the antique whitewashed chest, and disappear to the beaches of California. I'd be surfing in the USA strumming my favorite Gibson air guitar, pretending I was driving in LA in my 409, picking up chicks, high on life, passing through the days in careless ways with the sweet rays of summer sunlight bathing me in a bliss of happiness.


I had such visceral dreams for a child learning the ways of the world in an 8x9 apartment bedroom. I was lost in a complex of thousands, so far away from the hopes and aspirations, the dreams and delusions of yesterday, today and tomorrow. I was young, inspired, and not yet afflicted with a misperceptions of reality. The world was a playground not a hamster's wheel.

And as I sat frustrated in my car this morning, some 18 years past that spiky blonde haired neo-hippie faux surfer delusional dreamer, my mind drifted back to the carefree days in the summer of '87, listening to the Beach Boys and drifting away from the doldrums. From selling lemonade for 25cents a cup to engineering 100's of acres in boo-foo Illinois in 18 short years.

from Pet Sounds....the timeless

God Only Knows.

I may not always love you
But long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt itI’ll make you so sure about it
God only knows what I’d be without you

If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows what I’d be without you